Sunday, April 3, 2011

What can we do as Nurses when we see sisters in need?

A woman called me out of the blue one night, clearly very upset and speaking a mile a minute.  It turns out she wanted to divorce her husband.  She was Pakistani and she said that her family had married her to a man who was "mentally incompetent" whether it was done on purpose or it was not she didn't know.  She wanted a divorce.  Of course this was not my area of expertise and I advised her to contact one of the Islamic Cultural Centers in the area.  But she persisted and I realized after a moment that she had probably heard as much as she could handle from men, and males and wanted to talk to a sister.  I understood.  There are times when even though the overwhelming majority of experts on Shari'a are men, sometimes a woman in trouble just needs another sister to talk to, and to sit with her.  And so I sat with her over the phone listening, merely listening to her. Realizing this was as much as I could do.  Please remember as you go through your life to take the time to sit with a sister, and never ever judge a sister based on gossip or what you think you know about Shari'a.  Be a good listener and lift her burden with your love and compassion.  We are told to care for one another.  And there is no better way to make sure that families remain intact and children safe then to give good direction and to stand with a sister in need.  One thing to always remember that when a person reaches out it's because they are exhausted or have exhausted everything close to them.  Muslim women are susceptible to emotional damage because they are so tender and deeply religious and fear not just upsetting family members but more so upsetting Allah if their conduct is not perfect.   Many fret and worry too much over every little thing.  I encourage women to form support groups, to have tea with one another and show kindness above all.